An only child is a happy child, says research
Source: www.speakup.com.br
In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine. Natalie Portman once said: I” would never have been an actress if I hadn’t been an only child, because my parents would never have let me be the star of the family at the expense of another child.* it turns out that, in terms of the advantages of life without brothers and sisters of life without of the advantages of life without brothers and sisters, she was on to something.
One of the widest-raging research projects on family life conducted in Britain has revealed that the fewer sibling’s children have, the happier they are – and that only children are the most contented.
BULLIES
The findings, shared exclusively with The Observer, suggested that “sibling bullying” could be part of the problem, with 31% of children saying they are hit, kicked of pushed by a brother or sister “quite a lot” or “a lot.” Others complain that siblings steal their personal belongings and call them hurtful names.
The figures are the first to emerge from Understanding Society, a study tracking the lives of 100.000 people in 40.000 British households.
· Seven out of 10 British teenagers are very satisfied with their lives.
· Children from ethnic minorities are on average happier than their white British counterparts.
· Happiness declines the more siblings there are in a household.
INSULTS
The findings are based on in depth questionnaires completed by 2.500 young people. th questionnaires were analysed by Gundi Knies from the Institute for Social and Economic Research at the University of Essex where the Understanding Society study is based. She suggested factors such as competition for the parents attention or the fact that toys, sweets or space need to be shared Knies also painted to other data within the study on sibling bullying 29, 5% of teenagers complain that brothers or sisters call them “nasty names” “quite a lot” or “a lot”, while 17,6% say their personal belongings are taken away from them.
STRESS
Professor Dieter Wolke of the University of Warwick, who carried out the work on tensions between brothers and sisters, said: “More than half of all siblings 954%) were involved in bullying in one form or the other”. Although there is also evidence that indicates that siblings sometimes support each other, he warned that children who faced bullying both at home and in the playground were particularly vulnerable to behavior problems and unhappiness.
Woke did not study the impact of such tensions on parents, but added. “From anecdotal reports, quarrelling siblings increase stress for parents and some just give up intervening. Others intervene inconsistently, leaving the field wide open for the bully sibling.”
REFEREES
Siobhan Freegard, the co-founder of the website Netmums who has three children, said that many mothers felt like “referees” after their children reached a certain age and started quarrelling with their brother and sisters.
She questioned whether the findings on happiness were linked to the fact that children were desperate for parental attention. “With three children, it is three lots of dinner, three lots of washing, and three lots of driving to after school activities, so you do get less time for each. I like to think they are getting benefits in other ways,” said Freegard.
She said the findings would come as a relief to the parents of only children who often felt guilty about the lack of brothers and sisters.
SOCIABLE
Freegard discussed the issue recently with her friend, Tanya Honey, who has one child, a daughter. Honey admitted that her daughter, Geemma, seven, recently wrote “a baby” on her shopping list. “but friends always point out that she is a really happy child. When we go on holiday she is brilliant at making friends and if there was a brother or sister perhaps she wouldn’t be, because she would rely on them,” added Honey.
While the findings seem surprising, experts say there are clear reasons why more siblings could reduce happiness. Dr. Ruth Coppard, a child psychologist, said “in an average home the more children, the less privacy, for each child. Some love sharing a bedroom with a sibling but they would rather choose to do it than have to do it. There is competition for parental time.”
PERSONAL SPACE
Parent line Plus, a charity that offers support to parents, regularly receives calls about sibling rivalry “Families do report concerns regarding high levels of conflict among siblings and the stress that this can cause, but the import thing is to try to help and support families find more effective ways of dealing with this problem,” said Alison Phillips, director of policy and communications.
She has several tips for parents including ensure children have a special place for their belongings, insist they ask if they want to sue something owned by a sibling and show firmly that you do not approve of bullying behavior.
