Piadas Traduzidas: When Grandma goes to court

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Lawyers [Os advogados] should never ask [jamais deveriam fazer] a Mississippi grandma [à uma vovó do Mississippi] a question [uma pergunta] if they aren’t prepared [se não estiverem preparados] for the answer [para a resposta].  In a trial[Em um julgamento], a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney [um promotor de uma pequena cidade do sul (dos Estados Unidos)] called his first witness [testemunha], a grandmotherly [com aparência de vovó], elderly woman [senhora de idade] to the stand [para depor]. He approached her [se aproximou dela] and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you[Eu o conheço] since you were a boy [desde garoto], and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me [para mim, você foi uma grande decepção]. You lie [Você émentiroso; Você mente (lit.)], you cheat on your wife [trai a mulher], and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs [fala mal dos outros pelas costas]. You think you’re a big shot [Você se acha o máximo] when you haven’t the brains [não tem inteligência] to realize [para perceber] you’ll never amount to anything more than [você nunca vai passar de] a two-bit paper pusher [um burocrata de araque]. Yes, I know you.’

Cf. “LAWYER” ou “ATTORNEY”: como se diz “advogado” em inglês?

The lawyer was stunned [ficou de queixo caído]. Not knowing what else to do [Sem saber o que fazer], he pointed across the room [ele apontou para o outro lado do tribunal] and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know thedefense attorney [advogado de defesa]?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster [jovem], too. He’s lazy[preguiçoso], bigoted [preconceituoso], and he has a drinking problem [é alcoólatra]. He can’t build a normal relationship [Não consegue ter um relacionamento normal] with anyone [com ninguém], and his law practice [seu desempenho como advogado] is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention [Sem dizer que] he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

The defense attorney nearly died [quase teve um troço; quase morreu (lit.)].

The judge [O juiz] asked both counselors [advogados] to approach the bench [para se aproximarem dele] and, in a very quiet voice [falando baixinho], said, ‘If either of you idiots [Se qualquer um de vocês, suas antas,] asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both [mando os dois] to the electric chair.’

Cf. Mais Piadas Traduzidas

Silvia and Diego talk about the Mayan Ruins in their country's of Mexico and Guatemala.

1097 Mayan Ruins

Silvia and Diego talk about the Mayan Ruins in their country's of Mexico and Guatemala.

Source: www.elllo.org

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Silvia	Diego

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Silvia: Hi, my name is Silvia. I'm from Guatemala.

Diego: And I'm Diego and I'm from Mexico. And today we're going to talk about ruins in our countries.

Silvia: Actually, Guatemala is quite famous for it's Mayan ruins. We have a lot of them all over the country but especially up in the north near Mexico, and the most famous one is Tikal.

Diego: Oh, wow, have you been there?

Silvia: Yeah, I've been there and now apparently they're discovering more ruins around that area so every year you can go and just go visit a new ruin. So it's quite interesting.

Diego: The people in Guatemala often go to see these places or is it usually tourists?

Silvia: It's mainly tourists, but yeah, I've known a lot of people that just like to go, especially with my parents. They love archeology so they're taking us every time and seeing different places. They also discovered a new one that's getting a lot attention from the media lately. Apparently it's the biggest temple in the world, so it's getting a lot of media attention and now they even made a kind of like a replica at the Shiang Hai Expo.

Diego: Oh, wow.

Silvia: Yeah. But the only way you can go there right now is by helicopter.

Diego: So it's a bit expensive to get there?

Silvia: Yeah, it is, so a lot of celebrities apparently have flown there but for Guatemalans, I don't think many Guatemalans have been there yet.

Diego: Yeah, maybe because it's difficult to be able to afford that. We also have Mayan ruins in Mexico. Have you ever been to Cancun?

Silvia: Yeah, I went to TuTulmas around there.

Diego: Yes, Tulumas is a very nice Mayan site because it's on a cliff and you see all of the ocean and it's really nice. The contrast between the buildings and the white sand and the blue ocean. It's really, really beautiful. And we also have Chiciniza, which is like a Mayan pyramid. Have you ever heard of it?

Silvia: I've heard of it, but I haven't been there yet.

Diego: Yeah, it was voted one of the seven wonders of the modern world, so it's really, really nice and it's really large, and unlike the pyramids in Egypt, like on the top it's flat so it's a bit different.

Silvia: Yeah, mainly the Guatemalan ruins are also a little bit flat.

Diego: Yeah, I think that was like Mayan architecture. It was flat on the top.

Humor: Three lawyers and three engineers board a train…

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Translated jokes.

Three lawyers [Três advogados] and three engineers [três engenheiros] are traveling by train [estão viajando de trem] to a conference [congresso]. At the station,each of the three lawyers buys a ticket [os três advogados compram uma passagem cada um] while [ao passo que] the three engineers buy [compram] only one ticket[bilhete].

Cf. “LAWYER” ou “ATTORNEY”: como se diz “advogado” em inglês?Cf. Falsos Cognatos: ENGINEER

“How can the three of you [Como vocês três vão conseguir] travel on one ticket [só com uma passagem]?” asks a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see [Preste atenção e você verá],” answers an engineer.

Cf. Falsas Gêmeas: SEE x LOOK x WATCH

Aboard [A bordo; Dentro do] the train the lawyers take their respective seats [sentam-se nos seus respectivos lugares] while all three engineers cram into [se espremem; se apertam; se enfiam] the restroom [no banheiro] and squeeze the door closed behind them [mal conseguem fechar a porta por trás de si].

Cf. Vocabulário: Banheiro

When the conductor [o cobrador] comes around [passa] collecting tickets[recolhendo as passagens], he knocks [bate] on the restroom door and says, “Ticket please.” The door opens a crack [Só uma fresta se abre] and a single arm [apenas um braço] emerges [aparece] with a ticket in hand [segurando o comprovante]. The conductor takes it [o recolhe] and moves on [segue seu caminho].

Cf. Vocabulário: Produce Store e Volte Sempre

The lawyers are impressed with [ficam impressionados] this clever idea [sacada]. On the way home [Na volta] from the conference, they decide to copy the engineers’ technique. At the station, they buy a single ticket for their return trip [a viagem de volta].To their astonishment [Perplexos], the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all [não compram nem mesmo uma passagem]!

“How in the hell are you going to pull this off? [Que porra vocês estão aprontando?]” asks a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

They board the train. The three lawyers cram into one restroom and the three engineers cram into the other restroom.

Shortly after the train departs [Logo depois da partida], one of the engineers leaves[sai] his restroom and knocks on the other restroom door. “Ticket please!”