Mr. President, take care watch your parachuter

The last laugh

Source: Speak UP

Language level: Advanced

Standard: American accent

Bs: This joke is not updated ‘cause Bush was the President of USA yet.

The last Laugh

Mr. President...

A plane is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but there are only four parachutes. So the passengers have to make a very quick decision: which one of them will make the ultimate sacrifice?

The first passenger says:

“I am Ronaldo, the best soccer player in the world. The sporting world needs me, and I cannot die on my fans.” He grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says:

“I am the wife of the former president of the United States; I am a senator for the state of New York and I have a good chance of being the next president of the United States.”

She grabs a parachute and jumps off the plane.

The third passenger, George W. Bush, says:

“I am the current president of the United States of America, I have huge responsibilities in the world. Besides, I am the smartest president in the history of my country and I can’t shun the responsibility to my people by dying.”

He grabs a pack and jumps off the plane.

The fourth passenger, the Pop, says to the fifth passer, a young boy:

“I am old. I have lived my live as a good person, as priest should, and so I shall leave the last parachute to you; you have the rest of your life ahead of you.

To this the little boy replies:

“Don’t worry, old man, there is a parachute of each of us! The smartest president in American history took my schoolbag.”

MAYAN RUINS, ELLLO

1097 Mayan Ruins

Silvia and Diego talk about the Mayan Ruins in their country's of Mexico and Guatemala.

• Transcript
• Audio Slide Show
• Audio Notes

Source: www.elllo.org


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Silvia: Hi, my name is Silvia. I'm from Guatemala.Diego: And I'm Diego and I'm from Mexico. And today we're going to talk about ruins in our countries.
Silvia: Actually, Guatemala is quite famous for it's Mayan ruins. We have a lot of them all over the country but especially up in the north near Mexico, and the most famous one is Tikal.
Diego: Oh, wow, have you been there?
Silvia: Yeah, I've been there and now apparently they're discovering more ruins around that area so every year you can go and just go visit a new ruin. So it's quite interesting.
Diego: The people in Guatemala often go to see these places or is it usually tourists?
Silvia: It's mainly tourists, but yeah, I've known a lot of people that just like to go, especially with my parents. They lovearcheology so they're taking us every time and seeing different places. They also discovered a new one that'sgetting a lot attention from the media lately. Apparently it's the biggest temple in the world, so it's getting a lot of media attention and now they even made a kind of like a replica at the Shiang Hai Expo.
Diego: Oh, wow.
Silvia: Yeah. But the only way you can go there right now is by helicopter.
Diego: So it's a bit expensive to get there?
Silvia: Yeah, it is, so a lot of celebrities apparently have flown there but for Guatemalans, I don't think many Guatemalans have been there yet.
Diego: Yeah, maybe because it's difficult to be able to afford that. We also have Mayan ruins in Mexico. Have you ever been to Cancun?
Silvia: Yeah, I went to TuTulmas around there.
Diego: Yes, Tulumas is a very nice Mayan site because it's on a cliff and you see all of the ocean and it's really nice. Thecontrast between the buildings and the white sand and the blue ocean. It's really, really beautiful. And we also have Chiciniza, which is like a Mayan pyramid. Have you ever heard of it?
Silvia: I've heard of it, but I haven't been there yet.
Diego: Yeah, it was voted one of the seven wonders of the modern world, so it's really, really nice and it's really large, and unlike the pyramids in Egypt, like on the top it's flat so it's a bit different.
Silvia: Yeah, mainly the Guatemalan ruins are also a little bit flat.
Diego: Yeah, I think that was like Mayan architecture. It was flat on the top.

Irregular verbs, how to memorise them?

Talking about Irregular verbs on Simple Past, there are no rules, you should memorise them. On this video you can improve the pronounce and practise at home as much as possible, you can do that with 5 this week, next more 5 and so on.

DUBLIN 10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT

        _{^{Dublin : 10 things you need to know about Dublin
Source: www.englishexercises.org}}

                  Listen to the video and answer these questions:                             

1. Dublin is in .......             a. Iceland     b. Ireland      c. England  

2. The river that divides the city is called .......   a. the Liffey        b. The Dublin  

3. The castle is ......           a. North of the river       b. South of the river   

4.  You can walk accross the city in ...  a. 10 minutes     b. 15 minutes     c. less than 10 minutes  

5.  Dublin is famous for ....    a. Guinness    b. The colliseum       c. transport  

6. The Guinness bar .....   a. is on the 8th floor     b. has a view of the sea     c. has a view of the whole city  

7. You can chill out ........ a. at the college     b. at the park     c. at the museum  

8. James Joyce lives in Dublin now?    a. true        b false  

9. U2 call Dublin home now?         a. true      b. false 

10.  Howth is a.......    a. fishing village North of the city        b. fishing village in the city 

11. Port Marnoc is popluar for its  ....      a. cafes        b. beach       c. suburbs   

12. Graffton street is full of  ....  a. shopping centres     b. local stores  

13. An 'early bird' meal is  ....   a. after 7.30pm        b. before  7.30pm      c. before 5.30 pm  

14. For as little as 9€ you can get ........   a. a starter and a dessert    b. a main course and a starter  

15. The Elephant and Castle is famous for  ..... a. chicken wings     b. burgers      c. salads  

16.  John Kehoe's was opened in .......  a. 1903      b. 1883       c. 1803   

Using the information you have from the video, write a short guide for tourists to Dublin. 

Bin Laden is dead?

Source: www.maganews.com.br and 

 BBC / The New York Times

Bin Laden is deadAl-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden has been killed by US forces in Pakistan, President Barack Obama has said

    Bin Laden was killed in a ground operation outside

Islamabad based on US intelligence, the first lead for which emerged last August. Mr Obama said after "a firefight", US forces took possession of the body. Bin Laden is believed to be the mastermind of the attacks on New York and Washington on 11 September 2001 and a number of others. He was top of the US' "most wanted" list.

   

         Mr Obama said it was "the most significant achievement to date in our nation's effort to defeat al-Qaeda". - “For over two decades, Bin Laden has been Al Qaeda’s leader and symbol,” the president said in a statement televised around the world. “The death of Bin Laden marks the most significant achievement to date in our nation’s effort to defeat Al Qaeda. But his death does not mark the end of our effort. There’s no doubt that Al Qaeda will continue to pursue attacks against us. We must and we will remain vigilant at home and abroad.”

         The US has put its embassies around the world on alert, warning Americans of the possibility of al-Qaeda reprisal attacks for Bin Laden's killing. Crowds gathered outside the White House in Washington DC, chanting "USA, USA" after the news emerged. A US official quoted by Associated Press news agency said Bin Laden's body had been buried at sea, although this has not been confirmed.

     Bin Laden had approved the 9/11 attacks in which nearly 3,000 people died.He evaded the forces of the US and its allies for almost a decade, despite a $25m bounty on his head.

Sourch - BBC / The New York Times

John Paul II is blessed

Source: www.maganews.com.br

Recomendo para professores e alunos Brasileiros a assinatura, para mais informações visite o site. I recommend the subscription for Brazilian's  Teachers and Students, for more info visit the website MAGANEWS. Click on the title, very useful.

Religion

John Paul II is blessed

Pope Benedict XVI declared Pope John Paul II “blessed” yesterday (May 1)  at a Mass attended by an estimated 1 million people

      John Paul II moved a major step closer to sainthood yesterday (May 1) at a ceremony that drew the largest crowd to the Vatican since his funeral six years ago. “John Paul II is blessed because of his faith -- a strong, generous and apostolic faith," Pope Benedict XVI said  just minutes after formally beatifying his predecessor. Italian police said that for the Mass more than 1 million people were gathered in and around the Vatican and in front of large video screens in several parts of the city.

       Polish Sister Tobiana Sobodka, who ran Pope John Paul's household, and French Sister Marie Simon-Pierre, whose cure from Parkinson's disease was accepted as the miracle that paved the way for his beatification, carried a relic to Pope Benedict and then to a stand near the altar. The relic was a clear glass vial of Pope John Paul's blood held in a reliquary of silver olive branches.

The life and work of the Pope

     John Paul II has gone down in history as one of the most popular Popes in the entire history of Christianity.  His history as the Pontiff  began on 16th October 1978, when he was nominated Pope (the first non-Italian in 455 years). In 1981 he was seriously hurt in an attempt on his life. But two years later, in 1983, he went to the prison to embrace and forgive the attacker (the Turk, Mehmet Ali Agca). During the 26 years in which he was the leader of the Catholic Church, John Paul visited about 130 countries and was the first Pope to enter a synagogue and a mosque. John Paul II will be remembered mainly for trying to bring Catholicism closer to other religions and for having helped defeat communism in Eastern Europe.

     People from the most diverse religions admired John Paul II, but he was also criticized for being against abortion, euthanasia and contraception. In 1980, he became the first Pope to visit Brazil. At that time, Brazilians sang “A benção João de Deus.” Afterwards, the Pope returned another three time to Brazil: in 1982, 1991 and 1997.

Love for sports and the theater

     Karol Wojtyla was born on 18^th May 1920 in a small Polish city called Wadowice, but he lived most of his young life in Krakow. Karol loved sports, such as soccer, swimming, athletics, and skiing. He also liked literature and the theater a lot – he even worked as an actor. However, his life in Poland was marked more by difficulties and suffering than leisure and culture. At just 21 years old, Karol had already lost his parents and brother. In 1939 he saw his country invaded by the Nazis. In the 1940s he worked as an line-worker and later decided to begin his studies to become a priest.

www.maganews.com.br 

Joke, Osama in Haven

Source: www.speakup.com.br

Standard: American accent

Language level: Advanced

Osama in Heaven

After dying a violent death in an Afghan cave, Osama Bin Laden made his way to heaven, where he was met by George Washington: "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive! "shouted Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry came up from behind: "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose. 

James Madison came next and said: "This is why I allowed the government to provide for the common defense!" He took a sledgehammer and hit Osama's knees.

Osama was subjected to similar humiliation by John Randolph, James Monroe, and 35 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he rolled around on the ground in agony, Thomas Jefferson threw him back toward the gate where he was to be judged. 

As Osama awaited his journey to his final, very hot destination, he screamed: "This is not what I was promised!"

An Angel replied: "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?" 

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