The Man of the House

Source: TECLASAP http://www.teclasap.com.br/blog/tag/piadas-em-ingles/

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Mark G. Nash e Willians Ramos Ferreira

The Man of the House

MAN: I’ve been thinking… I’m the MAN of this house, so starting tomorrow I want you tohave a hot, delicious meal ready for me the second I walk thru that door… Afterwards, while watching ESPN and relaxing in my chair, you’ll bring me my slippersand then run my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?

WOMAN: The funeral director.

Cf. Pronúncia: B mudoCf. Curiosidades: COUCH POTATOCf. Mais Piadas em Inglês

• have a hot, delicious meal ready > preparar uma refeição deliciosa e quentinha
• the second I walk thru that door > assim que eu entar por aquela porta
  
• afterwards > depois
• slippers > chinelos
• run my bath > preparar o meu banho
• guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair > adivinha quem vai me vestir e pentear o meu cabelo
• the funeral director > o agente funerário

Referência: “Sorria, você está praticando inglês!“, de Mark G. Nash e Willians Ramos Ferreira, Disal Editora, 2010. Leia a sinopse.

I don’t wanna go to war

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Mark G. Nash e Willians Ramos Ferreira

http://www.teclasap.com.br

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I don’t wanna go to war

A guy was running down the street when he came up to a nun. He said to the nun “They’re after me. I don’t want to go to Afghanistan. Can I hide under your dress?” The nun said “Sure.” A few minutes later a couple of soldiers ran up and asked the nun “Did you see a guy running by here?” The nun said “Hewent that way.” They ran off.

After they had left, the guy climbed out from under her dress and said “Thank you, sister. You saved my life. I didn’t want to go to Afghanistan. By the way, I hope you’re not offended for me saying so, but you have a beautiful set of legs.” The nun said “If you had looked a bit higher, you would have seen a great set of balls. I don’t want to go to Afghanistan, either.”

Cf. Contrações: WANNACf. Mais Piadas em Inglês

• I don’t wanna go to war > eu não quero ir para a guerra
• came up to a nun > aproximou-se de uma freira
  
• they’re after me > eles estão atrás de mim
• hide under your dress > esconder-se embaixo do seu vestido
• sure > claro
• went that way > foi por aquele lado
• ran off > saíram em disparada
• climbed out > saiu
• by the way > a propósito
• I hope you’re not offended > eu espero que a irmã não se ofenda
• for me saying so > por eu dizer isto
• a beautiful set of legs > um belo par de pernas
• if you had looked a bit higher > se você tivesse olhado um pouquinho mais acima
• you would have seen a great set of balls > você teria visto um belo par de bolas
• I don’t want to go to Afghanistan, either > eu também não quero ir para o Afeganistão

Joke The Poor Farmer

                                Source:             http://www.teclasap.com.br/blog/ 

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The Poor Farmer

A man owned a small farm in North Carolina. The North Carolina Wage Office & Hours Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.

“Well,” replied the farmer, “there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $400.00 a week plus free room and board.

The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $300.00 per week plus free room and board.

Then there’s the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. Hemakes about $10.00 a week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”

“That’s the guy I want to talk to… the half-wit,” says the Agent.

“That would be me,” replied the farmer.

Cf. Mais Piadas em Inglês

• the poor farmer > o pobre fazendeiro
• owned a small farm > tinha um pequeno sítio
• the North Carolina Wage Office & Hours Department > o Departamento de Supervisão de Horas e Remuneração salariais da Carolina do Norte
• claimed > alegou
• was not paying proper wages > não estava pagando salários adequados
• to his help > para os seus empregados
• employees > funcionários
• demanded > exigiu
• farm hand > peão
• plus free room and board > além de alojamento e comida
• the cook > a cozinheira
• then there’s the half-wit > ah, tem também o otário
• makes about $10.00 > tira por volta de $10,00
• a week > por semana
• a bottle of Bourbon > uma garrafa de Bourbon (uísque)
• that’s the guy I want to talk to > esse é o cara com quem eu quero falar
• that would be me > esse sou eu